One Little Word for 2018

I recently found out about the One Little Word Project. Words are powerful, and one little word can determine how your entire year goes. I have decided to pick one little word for myself for 2018. But before I tell you what my word is for the coming year, I need to reflect on 2017. 

Even though I didn't pick a word for 2017, as I look back and reflect on how the year went, I think the word that best describes my year would be change. I was so unhappy with my life. My job really affected everything else in my life; it was all consuming. I hated my job, hated myself because I thought I'd made a mistake with my career (I did not), and I hated who I had become. I wasn't motivated to workout and eat healthy and I was stressed all the time, which in turn made me hate my body. 

But then I made a change. I found a new job, I moved to a new town, and I have made a new life. I love my school, I love my job, and I'm happy. I am truly happy with my decision to move, and I am so thankful to the people in my life who have supported me along the way! 

This quote has been my motivation this year. I am a better person and teacher because of this quote. 

Now on to 2018.... The word I have chosen for the new year is discipline. Discipline in my job, at my house, with my fitness goals, and anywhere else it can apply. I am the queen of procrastination, yet I love the feeling of being productive and getting ahead. How does that even make sense? I couldn't tell you, to be honest. 

When looking up words, I came across this quote, and it really made me think about my life and about how I wanted this year to go. 

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I first thought about my fitness goals: getting a workout in because it needs to be done. I need to do it for my mental health. I need to do it for my physical health. And I need to do it for my goals.

Next, I thought about my work. I need to grade those papers so they don't pile up. I need to plan lessons ahead of time and get prepared. I need to keep finding ways to engage my students. And I need to take time to reflect and be better next time. 

Lastly, I thought about my home, and the daily/weekly chores that I need to be better at keeping up with. I need to vacuum and clean weekly. I need to do my laundry weekly. I need to make my bed daily.

Some days I may not want to do any or all of these things, but when it comes down to it, I need to do all of these things in order to live the way I truly want to. Discipline is something I have always struggled with, but I really want to make it a priority this year and master it. 

I can apply discipline to my life and do what needs to be done. [Only teachers will understand this ;) ]

If you choose a little word for 2018, comment down below what it is! I'd love to have people who will hold me accountable! 

I hope you have enjoyed the holidays with your loved ones! I know I have. 

Accountability Part 2

It's hard, right? Holding yourself accountable? Life is constantly changing, and staying on track for your goals is hard. I mean, especially when there's wine, pizza, and dessert readily available for consumption. #amiright #holidayseason

But in all seriousness, staying on track with living a healthy lifestyle is real hard. As they say, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Who is "they" anyway? 

My point: I've been trying. I've went to the gym at 5:45am twice this week (shout out to Jill and Dan for inviting me and keeping me accountable) and I went to Refit yesterday. Three days in a row I've exercised, and it's been a long time since I've been able to stay that. And I feel good. Like, really good. I'm proud of myself. 

This healthy living lifestyle has been a series of ups and downs. I can't seem to find a way to make it work long term, and maybe I never will, but I will keep trying. I'm already looking forward to my workout tomorrow, so that's something to push myself to work towards. 

My advice to you is the following: find someone who can hold you accountable and who you can also hold accountable. Work together and help each other, even if it's just a text inviting each other to the gym or making sure the other one goes if you're not on the same schedule. My friend Jill does that for me, and this week it's really motivated me and sparked a new motivation inside me. I'm grateful for that. 

My next move is to come up with a plan. A plan that I can live with, that works for my schedule, and that will help me stick with it. I've really been enjoying going to the gym early in the morning. It helps kick start my day and helps me start the day in a great mood! I'm loving it. And then after that I can just go home and be lazy for the rest of the night knowing I've already exercised for the day. 

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Up next: clean up my diet. But, that may have to wait for after the holidays ;) 

In It to Win It... Or Not

Teachers should get another week to recover from Thanksgiving Break. Four whole, beautiful days off and I am dragging this week. I feel so unmotivated, in everything. #helpme 

Grades are due this week, and if there's one thing I do not enjoy, it's grading. It's time consuming and redundant. It's important; gathering data drives instruction and helps close gaps in learning, but dang do I hate the process of gathering it! 

This week has just been meh. I feel meh, I feel like I look meh, and just meh. I wish I could stay in bed for a week and sleep through it all. I'm hoping to get my good mood back soon. My students definitely help. The sweet notes, the hugs, the smiles. They can heal a broken heart, that's for sure. 

Being a teacher is hard, really hard. Some days I want to scream, cry, and rip my hair out. I answer a million questions a day (not exaggerating), I try to teach kids to be kind to each other, and I also teach them how to solve two step story problems with equations and unknowns represented as a letter. Some days my head hurts so bad because of how many decisions I've made throughout the day that I just go home and sit on the couch and decompress. 

Being a teacher is even harder if your personal life isn't going well because you have to constantly be on point all day long, even if you want to burst into tears like I have this week. 

But, being a teacher is rewarding. Being someone your students love unconditionally is such a good feeling. Being adored is something I wouldn't trade for the world. 

Being a teacher is hard, but damn is it worth it in the end. 

Thanksgiving Break

Oh my goodness I am so thankful for my four day break starting the day after tomorrow. I. Am. A. Tired. Teacher. I'm ready for a break and so are my kids. 

However, I have loved hearing the stories my students have told me about where they are going for Thanksgiving and what family and friends they are seeing during the holiday. It makes me happy to know they will be loved and happy while they are gone from school. 

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I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. A time to be with my family and revel in all the things I have to be thankful for. And dang am I ready for a break from work. But, let's be real, I'll be grading over the weekend. #lifeofateacher 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Choosing to Be Thankful

Bad days happen. They happen to everyone; no one can escape bad days, no matter how much we'd like to. Today I had a bad day. I woke up in such a great mood, got to work extra early and got ready for the day, and still felt like I had time to breathe. I was excited to see my students, they were listening, things were going great. 

But as the day progressed, it seemed like things kept going wrong. Some students made bad choices, I hated my writing lesson, and then a student of mine got hurt at recess. At lunch I cried; I just needed to let it out. 

But, despite this Monday being the Mondayest Monday in a long time, I am choosing to be thankful. I got to see my dad today for the first time in about three weeks. He was passing through to our cabin for gun season this week and he took me out to lunch. I missed him, and it was nice to see him. 

I am thankful for my dad. I am thankful he listened to me about my day, I'm thankful for his hugs, and I am thankful for having such a supportive father in my life. I know not everyone has that and I am blessed I was a lucky one. It's been hard living on my own and being so far away from my family but today I am reminded they are always there for me, no matter what. 

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Today, I am choosing to be grateful and to think positively. 

Be Good to People

Seeing my students be good people and good friends to one another leaves me with such a good feeling. Two of my students at two separate times show examples of being a good friend to another student. They worked well together, and made the other person they were working with feel good. 

In my classroom, at the end of the day, we do something called student shout outs. I usually compliment the class or specific students for a job well done and then I allow my students to give shout outs to each other for something good they did. Many times, my students give shout outs to their friends for being good friends. But, I love when someone gives a shout out to someone they don't normally hang out with or work with. 

I love seeing my students make new friends. 

I had a conversation with a parent today about her student (he was one of the students who was being a good friend) and she said something to me that has resonated with me since, "As a parent, you just want your children to be good people. Hearing things like this makes me feel like I'm doing an okay job." That really stood out to me, because it's true. Being good to others is something we don't see a whole lot in the news and world today, but it's something that is important and should be taught and highlighted every since day. 

Taylor said it best. 

Be good to people. It feels wonderful. Random acts of kindness, positive notes to friends or parents, or just simply a meaningful compliment. You never know how your words or actions could turn someone's day around. 

Finding an Outlet

Being an adult is hard, am I right? I think back to my third grade self (the same age of students I currently teach) and I just think to myself, "Why in the heck did you want to grow up?" It's freaking hard. You use all the money you earn to pay bills, student loans, and to feed yourself. You have to clean your own house, do your own dishes, and finish your own laundry [there's no one to do it for you when you leave it out so long that she's sick of looking at it... Love you Mom ;)]. And then you just work. I feel like since I've graduated college, my life is less busy as far as how many different things I'm doing, but I feel like all I do is work. That could be because I'm a teacher and I take a lot of things home with me or stay after and come in early or it could just be another part of being an adult. 

There always seems like there is something that could be done. Something else to tweak in order to best fit my students' needs, something to clean in my house, or something to prepare for the next day. 

That brings me to my point: find an outlet. When stress comes, when you're feeling overwhelmed, or when you're lacking motivation or creativity. It's important to find something you love doing that takes you away from your daily responsibilities for a period of time. 

For me, it's planning in my planners (yes, plural) and working out. Although I'm not as consistent with working out as I used to be, I am working on it because I really do love it and it's important to me. I am trying to make more time for both of those things this school year. 

Whatever it is that you love to do, even if it's for ten minutes at night right before you go to sleep, do it. You will be less stressed, you'll be happier, and you'll feel refreshed which will in turn help you be better at work. 

Bottom line, you need to take care of yourself first. You are not helpful to others if you are burnt out, stressed, and worn thin. 

Easier said than done, I know. But try. Do it for yourself because you are worth it! 

Making a Plan & Sticking To It

Seems easy, right? In some cases, yes it is. It's easy to stick to my lesson plans I've created, unless I see a need of my students that isn't being addressed. It's easy for me to stick to my plans with my friends or boyfriend. 

However, I find it hard for me to stick to my fitness plans. I sit down and create this intense, well-thought out plan and I rarely ever stick to it. Why? It's not because I don't want to. It's not because I can't do it. It's more because I let life and excuses get in the way. Also, I'm an all or nothing kind of person, and I think that if I can't commit 100% to what I've set out to do, then it's not worth trying at all, which is not the case. 

Last week I planned to workout five times, but I only managed to get a workout in 3 times. Well, first of all, that's over 50% of my goal. Secondly, I listened to my body and when I was exhausted, I skipped the gym and graded my math tests that have been looming over my head. Thirdly, I started to get sick on Friday, and I'm glad I didn't push myself because I really didn't feel well this weekend. So, I'll take the 3 days I could get in, and try better this coming week. 

Bottom line, going SOMETHING to reach your goals is better than doing NOTHING. And, progress is progress no matter how small. Hopefully this week I'll be able to workout four times instead of 3, or up the intensity of my three workouts. Whatever it is I do to improve is good. I shouldn't feel like a failure for not achieving all my plans; as long as I'm trying my best, that's what should matter. 

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Keep your goals in mind, and try your very best to do SOMETHING to reach them every day. And if you don't, try harder the next day. But, don't ever give up. 

I Survived!

Parent teacher conferences, that is. Actually, it was a lot of fun; I really enjoyed meeting some more of my parents and talking with them about their children. I had a really good turn out and I am very pleased with it! 

Today was the latest I've ever stayed at school without an event going on (7pm!). I got a lot of grading done, put into the gradebook, and discussed some more ideas with my third grade team. I am on such a supportive team and in such a supportive school. I am so grateful for the change I made and the school I work in. I love going to work every single day. 

The people I am surrounded with inspire me. Hard working, loving, and determined people who make me want to be a better person, a better teacher, and a better colleague. I love the school environment Surline has given me; I love the family I have been blessed with. 

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Happy Monday! I hope it was a great one! 

Parent. Teacher. Conferences.

Also known as: The Longest Week Ever for a four day week. I have been prepping for the conferences today and yesterday and I am just ready for 8:00pm on Thursday night! Although I am looking forward to talking with my students' parents and discussing their children, I am not looking forward to two 12 hour days back to back. *Insert drooling, sleepy emoji 

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Pray for me, friends. I will need it just to survive and not turn into a zombie the next two days. Thankfully, we have Friday off! Woo, three day weekend! 

Accountability

Being accountable and being held accountable are two very important things when it comes to reaching one's goals. No matter the goal, if you're accountable and have someone there holding you accountable, you're more likely to stick to something. 

Last week, when I decided to take a new fitness class I've never heard of/didn't know I'd like, I made sure to tell my friend I'd be there because I knew I'd go if I made that promise. Today, when I decided I'd go on a bike ride, I made sure to tell my best friend, because I knew I'd go if I told someone. I went both times and I loved both workouts. I had so much fun at the Refit class (Zumba) that I'm going back tomorrow! My bike ride today was relaxing and calm and just what my soul needed. I felt like Snow White at one part because I was the only human around and I saw so many different animals. 

I am so glad I took that step and told somebody I would work out, because I did. Find yourself someone who will make sure you're accountable, because let's be honest, even if you're so determined to reach a goal, sometimes we still fall short. It ain't easy changing your ways, your habits, or achieving something you've never achieved before. It's hard as hell and sometimes we need a little extra push from those around us. There's no shame is asking for help. 

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Make up your mind, follow through, and keep going. Ask for help along the way. Stumble, fall, but always get back up. Life is a journey and it's never a choice to give up on the goals you want to accomplish. 

Work and Play

Adulting is hard, am I right? Yes, I am. Being a productive adult is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than any college coursework, harder than any break up I've had to get over, harder than letting go of the things I loved most. Why is that? 

It could be because it is a constant struggle. A daily struggle of getting up, going to work, being the best person, friend, and teacher I can. Every. Single. Day. It takes a lot of work. And most of the time, I let myself get consumed with my work, and I forget to relax and live my life. 

Being a teacher is time consuming. Planning, prepping, teaching, constantly answering questions, analyzing data, reteaching what you've already taught. The cycle is constantly evolving, and constantly repeating itself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love what I do, and I can't imagine doing anything else, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle to get everything done, or like it some days. 

My point is, find a balance between your work life and your real life. Work should not be your entire life. It should be part of it, part of you, but not entirely. Remember to relax, laugh, take a nap, and live your life with those who matter most. That's why weekends were created anyway. ;) 

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So, next time you're feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. You may need a break from your job. It's refreshing to step back and then come back recharged and better than before. I promise it will help! 

Choices

So, I'm about to go workout for the first time in over a month (aside from a 4 mile walk with my mom last week and a couple bike rides). And I'll be honest, I could have worked out the week I moved, or last week, and even this week. But, I didn't and you know why I didn't? I was lazy. Purely and utterly lazy. 

Sure, I started a new job and spent hours upon hours in my classroom. Sure, I was moving and walked up and down my stairs so many times. Sure, I was tired at the end of the day. But those are all excuses, and they are not helping me achieve my goals. 

Now, my goals aren't to have a six pack of abs and ripped legs. However, I do want to be healthier and live a better lifestyle than I did last school year. I don't eat out so much anymore (so far) and I haven't had pop in a few weeks. I'm making my meals and taking my lunches and that has helped. I don't snack (or should I say over-snack) as often as I did last year. I am busy, but I am trying my best to make better choices, while still living with a balance. 

It's a daily choice to be healthier. It's a CHOICE. Yeah, it's hard. It's really freaking hard. But, it's better than looking in the mirror and hating what you see and then giving up on yourself. That's even harder and it sucks a whole lot more. 

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I hope this inspires you to make a better choice today. I hope it helps you realize that we're all in this boat together, struggling to be better than we were yesterday. Sometimes we fail, but sometimes we succeed and little successes all combined together make a big success. 

Take the Damn Risk

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This quote really speaks to me lately. I am SO happy lately. I am excited to go to work, see my work friends, and I am looking forward to this school year so much! I love coming home to my apartment, I love riding my bike around town, and I love my classroom. 

But, in order to get this happiness, I had to let go of my life and start anew. New job, new town, new house, and new (more) friends. I miss my family and friends, but all in all, I am incredibly happy I did this. I refused to accept that the way I was treated was right, and I refused to stand by people who did not believe what I believed. This is how I imagined my life would turn out, maybe even better. 

You have the power; you hold it in your hands. You can control your life, and you point your sails in any direction you choose. Do it. Take the damn risk. It is worth it. 

First Night of Change

 Change is a part of life. Sometimes, it's because of bad circumstances, but, sometimes, you are in control of change, and that type of change can for the better. You are in control of your life and only you can make those changes for the better. 

Last night was the first (official) night in my townhouse. The first night where I don't have any plans of returning to my parents' house, the first night of this new chapter in my life. It's both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I am so excited about creating my own life, my own routine, and seeing what I can do when I have complete control over how things go. However, at the same time, I've never been completely on my own, and I am scared of what that means, or how it could go. I know I will learn along the way and make mistakes, but the thought of creating something all for myself fills my soul with pride and love. 

I've always been afraid of taking chances. I was always the well calculated girl who never did anything without thinking it through, and I would have never moved away just because I wanted to. I didn't go to college at Northern Michigan University because it was too far away from my mom (let's all laugh at that together). But now, I am a different person. I have grown up, gotten more confident in myself, and learned that taking chances can lead to greater things. 

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Life is too short to be anything but happy. Take that job, go on that date, get on that airplane. If it will make you happy, I promise it's worth it. 

Gratitude

I've recently seen many people on social media starting gratitude journals. I have toyed with the idea for quite a while, and I think when I officially move (next week!! Eeeeep!) I am going to start one. I also think I am going to have one for my classroom, because sometimes it is so easy to focus on the negative things that can happen during the day, and I forget about the good things that can happen, too. My university supervisor had us keep one during student teaching and it really helped me focus on my priorities and remember why I became a teacher in the first place. 

I am really excited to start this new journey of mine, living on my own entirely and starting a new life that is entirely my own in a new town. I'm also terrified; moving away from my family (especially my mom - cue the tears) and my best friends. But, I'm more excited than anything! It also makes me incredibly grateful for everything that has happened to me to make me ready for this change, in addition to all the help I have received and all the things given to me to help this move easier and smoother. This move has really opened my eyes to all the good that is in my life, which is why I want to start the gratitude journal, so I can remember it later on. 

I think it's important to be grateful, even for the littlest things like holding someone's hand, a kiss on the cheek, or sunshine after the rain. It will give you perspective and it will help you see the beauty in the world, especially when people fight so hard to only show you the negative side of things. 

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If you appreciate all the things around you, you'll always find a reason to be happy. 

Challenges

Well, it's safe to say that I didn't find balance during the school year this year. I tried, oh boy did I try, but I couldn't quite figure it out. I did really well when I first joined a gym again at the end of March until about the middle of May, and then the end of the year brought on a whole new set of challenges I wasn't prepared for. 

Now, I'm in the process of moving my life two hours away from the first home I have ever known. I have to learn a new city, create a new classroom, and create a new home. I'm very excited for these next few months, but I'm also terrified. Although I have a year of experience teaching, I still feel like I'm drowning. I hope that feeling goes away soon, but from what I've heard from my teacher friends, it looks like I'll finally get my sh*@ together after year five. *insert laughing crying face 

I'm trying to move past my challenges. Even though I have a lot going on right now, I still feel like I don't use my time wisely during the summer (hello, I need a break from this past school year to cleanse). I'm working on it, and I've found that nights are usually when I'm most productive which is very much unlike me. At all. I'm normally a go to bed at nine o'clock kind of girl. 

Yesterday I set some pretty hefty fitness goals for myself, but I know I'm the kind of person who needs something to work towards. I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last two years, and I'm not happy about it. It's entirely my fault; I let my life and excuses get in the way, but I'm ready to make my fitness goals and living a healthy, active lifestyle a reality. I've got my dream job, I'm going to be living on my own by myself for the first time, now I just need this to come into play. 

My goals are as follows: 

1. Lose 27 pounds in 26 weeks 
2. Weigh 155 pounds by New Years Eve
3. Have one untracked meal a week 
4. Workout 4-5 times a week (at least) 
5. Keep going 

Even if I don't lose that amount of weight by the end of the year, I still want to be working towards that goal by NYE. Basically, I just don't want to give up on myself, because that's what I've done for so long and I AM OVER IT! I want to treat my body well, I don't want to keep abusing it and treating it like crap when it's literally keeping me alive so I can make memories with my friends and family and visit these beautiful places and see amazing things. And, if I'm being honest, I want to feel confident in a bathing suit. I NEVER have. Ever. I remember being 12 years old and being self conscious in a bathing suit when I should have been worrying about swimming and playing with my family. I want to feel better about myself, that's what's most important to me. 

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So here's to me finding the motivation to workout on this gloomy Monday! It will be my fifth day in a row. :) 

Rest Days

Oh the dreaded rest days... Days where you know your body and mind need a break from the grind, but you feel guilty for taking them, am I right? I feel that way right now. 

So I'm a teacher, and working with third graders all day is exhausting. Anyone who tells you being a teacher is easy/they get a lot of vacation time/I could babysit kids all day like you do, has OBVIOUSLY never spent a day in a classroom trying to teach children different standards. It's mentally draining. You're constantly thinking about ways to improve your classroom for learning, to improve the strategies you use to implement the information, wondering if your kids will eat dinner when they go home, and hoping they do well on all these standardized tests to "prove" that you did your job. Because working your ass off everyday isn't proof enough, apparently. It's a lot of pressure, everyday, to perform and be on point every second of those eight hours you are teaching. And today, I'm just plain exhausted. I came home and passed out (on accident) because I was so tired. Adulting ain't no joke, y'all. 

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So even though I know I deserve this rest day (5 days on, one day off), why do I feel guilty? Maybe it's because in the past, one rest day turned into an indefinite number of rests days, but I'm more determined. I made plans to workout with my boyfriend tomorrow in order to hold myself accountable, and I know we'll workout together on the weekend too. But that guilt... It just won't seem to go away. 

But it's okay. It's okay to listen to your body, take a rest day, and get back at it tomorrow. Sleep and rest is just as important as eating healthy and moving your body. We all need time to recover and the only way that happens is when we're asleep. So take some rest, enjoy it, and get back to it tomorrow (oh you know, may just be giving myself a little pep talk as I type this). You got this, and nothing can stop you! 

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Until next time, 

Anneke 

Hump Day Motivation

You know that little voice inside your head? The one that tells us skipping a workout is okay? The one that tells us, "oh, we'll get to it tomorrow"? Sometimes, it is okay to listen to that voice. Our bodies get tired, both physically and mentally and we just need a break. Sometimes, making memories with loved ones is more important than a workout. 

But, sometimes it's not okay to listen to that voice.

Sometimes, we need to listen to that other voice. That voice of reason, reminding us of our goals and the hopes we set for yourselves. That voice, doesn't want us to be disappointed in ourselves, yet again, for quitting something we wanted so badly. This voice, helps us prioritize and make time for the things we really want: a healthy, active lifestyle. 

Today, I listened to the latter, and I'm on Day 5 straight of working out. And I. Am. Proud. I'm proud that I've stuck to a goal (so far), I'm proud that I'm making the time, and I'm proud that instead of giving in to the exhaustion from work, I reminded myself of my goals. I made it a goal to workout 21 days straight, and if I do, I'll reward myself with a gym membership. And I really can't wait to get back into the gym! 

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What did you do today to help you get one step closer to your goal? 

I rode 8 miles on the stationary bike in 40 minutes! 

Happy Hump Day! 

Until next time,

Anneke

Introduction

As the title of my blog may indicate, I have yet to find a balance in my life. I'm a first year teacher, and more often than not, I am overwhelmed with work. I am constantly making lesson plans, grading papers, analyzing data, and creating assessments, all while still teaching seven hours a day Monday through Friday. Crazy busy, right? Right. 

I am finally feeling like I have a handle on things work-wise. I'm finishing my lesson plans quicker, grading more efficiently, and I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did in September and October. Those months were so rough for me. 

With that being said, I really need to get back into a regular workout and eating regimen. I used to go to the gym almost every day, no matter how busy I got in college. However, since transitioning into a full time job with full time responsibilities outside the 40 hours I'm required to be at work, I've let my health sit on the back burner. And to be honest, it makes me very sad.

Not only am I sad with how I look, I am sad with how I let myself go. I used to pride myself on working out and eating healthy when other people weren't. I used to feel such a sense of accomplishment when I finished a really hard workout and pushed past my ideas of wanting to quit. I used to love myself for what I was doing. 

I used to have a fitness blog that I have since deleted, because I wanted to create a blog that was more of a lifestyle blog with different aspects thrown in. While I did start this blog to keep myself accountable for my fitness journey, it will not be entirely about working out and healthy meals. Life is about balance, and let me tell you, this girl loves her ice cream and finding a healthy lifestyle that works for me shouldn't make me give that up, right? 

The most important thing for me is to find a lifestyle that works for ME. Not what someone else finds that works for them, something that is tailored just for me. I have no idea what that looks like, but I am determined to find something that works and that I will stick to. That has been my biggest problem over the years. I find something that works temporarily, but not something I can stick to long term. 

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Until next time, 

Anneke