Take the Damn Risk

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This quote really speaks to me lately. I am SO happy lately. I am excited to go to work, see my work friends, and I am looking forward to this school year so much! I love coming home to my apartment, I love riding my bike around town, and I love my classroom. 

But, in order to get this happiness, I had to let go of my life and start anew. New job, new town, new house, and new (more) friends. I miss my family and friends, but all in all, I am incredibly happy I did this. I refused to accept that the way I was treated was right, and I refused to stand by people who did not believe what I believed. This is how I imagined my life would turn out, maybe even better. 

You have the power; you hold it in your hands. You can control your life, and you point your sails in any direction you choose. Do it. Take the damn risk. It is worth it. 

First Night of Change

 Change is a part of life. Sometimes, it's because of bad circumstances, but, sometimes, you are in control of change, and that type of change can for the better. You are in control of your life and only you can make those changes for the better. 

Last night was the first (official) night in my townhouse. The first night where I don't have any plans of returning to my parents' house, the first night of this new chapter in my life. It's both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I am so excited about creating my own life, my own routine, and seeing what I can do when I have complete control over how things go. However, at the same time, I've never been completely on my own, and I am scared of what that means, or how it could go. I know I will learn along the way and make mistakes, but the thought of creating something all for myself fills my soul with pride and love. 

I've always been afraid of taking chances. I was always the well calculated girl who never did anything without thinking it through, and I would have never moved away just because I wanted to. I didn't go to college at Northern Michigan University because it was too far away from my mom (let's all laugh at that together). But now, I am a different person. I have grown up, gotten more confident in myself, and learned that taking chances can lead to greater things. 

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Life is too short to be anything but happy. Take that job, go on that date, get on that airplane. If it will make you happy, I promise it's worth it. 

Gratitude

I've recently seen many people on social media starting gratitude journals. I have toyed with the idea for quite a while, and I think when I officially move (next week!! Eeeeep!) I am going to start one. I also think I am going to have one for my classroom, because sometimes it is so easy to focus on the negative things that can happen during the day, and I forget about the good things that can happen, too. My university supervisor had us keep one during student teaching and it really helped me focus on my priorities and remember why I became a teacher in the first place. 

I am really excited to start this new journey of mine, living on my own entirely and starting a new life that is entirely my own in a new town. I'm also terrified; moving away from my family (especially my mom - cue the tears) and my best friends. But, I'm more excited than anything! It also makes me incredibly grateful for everything that has happened to me to make me ready for this change, in addition to all the help I have received and all the things given to me to help this move easier and smoother. This move has really opened my eyes to all the good that is in my life, which is why I want to start the gratitude journal, so I can remember it later on. 

I think it's important to be grateful, even for the littlest things like holding someone's hand, a kiss on the cheek, or sunshine after the rain. It will give you perspective and it will help you see the beauty in the world, especially when people fight so hard to only show you the negative side of things. 

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If you appreciate all the things around you, you'll always find a reason to be happy. 

Challenges

Well, it's safe to say that I didn't find balance during the school year this year. I tried, oh boy did I try, but I couldn't quite figure it out. I did really well when I first joined a gym again at the end of March until about the middle of May, and then the end of the year brought on a whole new set of challenges I wasn't prepared for. 

Now, I'm in the process of moving my life two hours away from the first home I have ever known. I have to learn a new city, create a new classroom, and create a new home. I'm very excited for these next few months, but I'm also terrified. Although I have a year of experience teaching, I still feel like I'm drowning. I hope that feeling goes away soon, but from what I've heard from my teacher friends, it looks like I'll finally get my sh*@ together after year five. *insert laughing crying face 

I'm trying to move past my challenges. Even though I have a lot going on right now, I still feel like I don't use my time wisely during the summer (hello, I need a break from this past school year to cleanse). I'm working on it, and I've found that nights are usually when I'm most productive which is very much unlike me. At all. I'm normally a go to bed at nine o'clock kind of girl. 

Yesterday I set some pretty hefty fitness goals for myself, but I know I'm the kind of person who needs something to work towards. I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last two years, and I'm not happy about it. It's entirely my fault; I let my life and excuses get in the way, but I'm ready to make my fitness goals and living a healthy, active lifestyle a reality. I've got my dream job, I'm going to be living on my own by myself for the first time, now I just need this to come into play. 

My goals are as follows: 

1. Lose 27 pounds in 26 weeks 
2. Weigh 155 pounds by New Years Eve
3. Have one untracked meal a week 
4. Workout 4-5 times a week (at least) 
5. Keep going 

Even if I don't lose that amount of weight by the end of the year, I still want to be working towards that goal by NYE. Basically, I just don't want to give up on myself, because that's what I've done for so long and I AM OVER IT! I want to treat my body well, I don't want to keep abusing it and treating it like crap when it's literally keeping me alive so I can make memories with my friends and family and visit these beautiful places and see amazing things. And, if I'm being honest, I want to feel confident in a bathing suit. I NEVER have. Ever. I remember being 12 years old and being self conscious in a bathing suit when I should have been worrying about swimming and playing with my family. I want to feel better about myself, that's what's most important to me. 

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So here's to me finding the motivation to workout on this gloomy Monday! It will be my fifth day in a row. :) 

Rest Days

Oh the dreaded rest days... Days where you know your body and mind need a break from the grind, but you feel guilty for taking them, am I right? I feel that way right now. 

So I'm a teacher, and working with third graders all day is exhausting. Anyone who tells you being a teacher is easy/they get a lot of vacation time/I could babysit kids all day like you do, has OBVIOUSLY never spent a day in a classroom trying to teach children different standards. It's mentally draining. You're constantly thinking about ways to improve your classroom for learning, to improve the strategies you use to implement the information, wondering if your kids will eat dinner when they go home, and hoping they do well on all these standardized tests to "prove" that you did your job. Because working your ass off everyday isn't proof enough, apparently. It's a lot of pressure, everyday, to perform and be on point every second of those eight hours you are teaching. And today, I'm just plain exhausted. I came home and passed out (on accident) because I was so tired. Adulting ain't no joke, y'all. 

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So even though I know I deserve this rest day (5 days on, one day off), why do I feel guilty? Maybe it's because in the past, one rest day turned into an indefinite number of rests days, but I'm more determined. I made plans to workout with my boyfriend tomorrow in order to hold myself accountable, and I know we'll workout together on the weekend too. But that guilt... It just won't seem to go away. 

But it's okay. It's okay to listen to your body, take a rest day, and get back at it tomorrow. Sleep and rest is just as important as eating healthy and moving your body. We all need time to recover and the only way that happens is when we're asleep. So take some rest, enjoy it, and get back to it tomorrow (oh you know, may just be giving myself a little pep talk as I type this). You got this, and nothing can stop you! 

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Until next time, 

Anneke 

Hump Day Motivation

You know that little voice inside your head? The one that tells us skipping a workout is okay? The one that tells us, "oh, we'll get to it tomorrow"? Sometimes, it is okay to listen to that voice. Our bodies get tired, both physically and mentally and we just need a break. Sometimes, making memories with loved ones is more important than a workout. 

But, sometimes it's not okay to listen to that voice.

Sometimes, we need to listen to that other voice. That voice of reason, reminding us of our goals and the hopes we set for yourselves. That voice, doesn't want us to be disappointed in ourselves, yet again, for quitting something we wanted so badly. This voice, helps us prioritize and make time for the things we really want: a healthy, active lifestyle. 

Today, I listened to the latter, and I'm on Day 5 straight of working out. And I. Am. Proud. I'm proud that I've stuck to a goal (so far), I'm proud that I'm making the time, and I'm proud that instead of giving in to the exhaustion from work, I reminded myself of my goals. I made it a goal to workout 21 days straight, and if I do, I'll reward myself with a gym membership. And I really can't wait to get back into the gym! 

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What did you do today to help you get one step closer to your goal? 

I rode 8 miles on the stationary bike in 40 minutes! 

Happy Hump Day! 

Until next time,

Anneke

Introduction

As the title of my blog may indicate, I have yet to find a balance in my life. I'm a first year teacher, and more often than not, I am overwhelmed with work. I am constantly making lesson plans, grading papers, analyzing data, and creating assessments, all while still teaching seven hours a day Monday through Friday. Crazy busy, right? Right. 

I am finally feeling like I have a handle on things work-wise. I'm finishing my lesson plans quicker, grading more efficiently, and I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did in September and October. Those months were so rough for me. 

With that being said, I really need to get back into a regular workout and eating regimen. I used to go to the gym almost every day, no matter how busy I got in college. However, since transitioning into a full time job with full time responsibilities outside the 40 hours I'm required to be at work, I've let my health sit on the back burner. And to be honest, it makes me very sad.

Not only am I sad with how I look, I am sad with how I let myself go. I used to pride myself on working out and eating healthy when other people weren't. I used to feel such a sense of accomplishment when I finished a really hard workout and pushed past my ideas of wanting to quit. I used to love myself for what I was doing. 

I used to have a fitness blog that I have since deleted, because I wanted to create a blog that was more of a lifestyle blog with different aspects thrown in. While I did start this blog to keep myself accountable for my fitness journey, it will not be entirely about working out and healthy meals. Life is about balance, and let me tell you, this girl loves her ice cream and finding a healthy lifestyle that works for me shouldn't make me give that up, right? 

The most important thing for me is to find a lifestyle that works for ME. Not what someone else finds that works for them, something that is tailored just for me. I have no idea what that looks like, but I am determined to find something that works and that I will stick to. That has been my biggest problem over the years. I find something that works temporarily, but not something I can stick to long term. 

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Until next time, 

Anneke