Are You Trying Your Best?

Are you really trying your best? Are you putting in the effort to make good, healthy choices every day? I wasn't. Ever since COVID-19 started, I fell off the rails. Not entirely nor did I get completely out of control, but I wasn't putting in my best effort. I haven't gained weight, but I didn't continue my workout plans like I was when I was working. 

I thrive off of a routine. I like doing the same things every day; it helps with my anxiety and makes me feel like I'm in control of my day when I know what to expect. Now, ever since the quarantine started, I haven't had a routine. I didn't have work to go to, every day was different and I really struggled mentally. I tried to help myself with a cleaning schedule and working on my lesson plans and school things at the same time, but I let my workouts slack. I wasn't eating as much because I wasn't moving as much so that was good, but I felt off. 

Then, I started working for Blake which was great because it gave me a purpose. I was needed somewhere and I had something productive to do each day. But my routine was off even more. We work long days and sometimes (most days) when I'm off, we come back into the office after dinner to finish up some things from the day. So, I felt even more off, even if the need for a purpose was fulfilled. 

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This week was different. My mentor reached out to me, and I was honest with her about my struggles. She suggested a workout program that is only 4 days a week and much easier to fit into my schedule. She suggested that I workout before the day begins so that I am more energized throughout the day and I asked her to text me when she wakes up to hold me accountable. I need someone to hold me accountable whether it's a text or someone who tells me they watch my videos on social media. 

I am so thankful to her because I haven't felt this good or like myself in months. It feels really, really good. 

Be Grateful

Being at home is hard. Or rather, being at home all the time is hard. I'm grateful to be safe and healthy. I'm grateful for the extra family time. However, I've been struggling with not having a purpose every day. I miss going to work and seeing my students every day. I felt like I was needed and had a purpose when they needed me every day. Now, they still need me but it's not as easy for me to reach them. I wish I could see them in person. I wish I could teach them. 

Now, I'm not trying to sound snobby or ungrateful. And I know everyone else feels the same way and we are all in the same boat right now. I'm just trying to do my part and stay home/outside as much as possible. I only go to the grocery store when we desperately need items and I'm trying to do grocery pick up when it's available. I want a sense of normalcy again as soon as possible. 

I do know that when the quarantine is over, I will do my very best to not take things for granted again. This time has definitely made me hyper aware of the things I previously took for granted such as work and going to the grocery store. 

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What is something you are grateful for? 

Self Quarantined?

The world is surrounded by COVID-19 currently and I have so many mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I think people are overreacting about the entire thing. It's much like the flu, however, it's much more contagious and people can be a carrier without actually getting the virus. Many people have survived it, but there have been some who have died from it. On the other hand, I wouldn't want one of my Grandmas to get it, or someone else I care about that could have been prevented. 

I'm also extremely grateful to spend more time with my family that I normally wouldn't get. But, I miss my students and think about them constantly. I'm trying my best to come up with things students can do at home but at the same time, I don't want to overwhelm parents during an already overwhelming time. 

I am anxiety prone and have had a stomachache from anxiety since Friday when they closed schools until April. I'm trying to find things to fill my time, but with our vacation being cancelled (a tough, yet good decision for our family) I'm trying to focus on my workouts and nutrition; something I can control. 

I started a new program this week that requires no equipment (I was planning for vacation, but that isn't happening) after finishing a 100 workout program last week. I'm still working up a crazy sweat even without weights, bands, or an aerobic step. I love the trainer and I like the different moves during the workouts. Oh, and only 25 minutes long which makes it so easy to fit into my schedule. Especially my quarantined schedule. 

Now as for nutrition... This is where I have and probably always will struggle, at least a little. We made Leprechaun Bait to try an catch the Leprechaun last night (we were unsuccessful) and I may or may not have eaten too much of it in the last two days. Tomorrow I am going to try to actively make good decisions with my nutrition so that I can feel my best. I made a goal to lose 35 pounds this year and I really want to reach it! 

It's hard to be out of your routine, but making the most of it is really all we can do at this point. 

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I am currently offering 9 free workouts if you can't go to your gym/want to try something new! Comment with your email below and I'll send you the links! 

Life Changes

Well, for the last 7ish weeks, I have been using a Beachbody workout program and I am LOVING it! The first three weeks, I didn't use the step that the program recommends and then I went on vacation and didn't workout at all (except swimming and walking). Then, when I came back I ordered a step and restarted the program using it and wow was it harder! 

I wanted to share my journey as a Beachbody coach thus far. I joined at the very end of April this year and used the workouts after school with some of my friends from work. I really liked them, but I wasn't fully committed to them. I liked the discount I got from being a coach and the shake I got from it is good! However, again, I wasn't fully committed to it. 

In July, I decided enough was enough and if I am going to actually be a coach and inspire others, I needed to get my act together. So, I started the program I am currently using and I fell in love with it all over again! It's 20 minutes per workout and I sweat like crazy during it. Plus, the trainer is Shaun T and he's both inspiring and amazing! 

Fast forward to today. I feel SO good. I wake up early before work (uh... what?!) to workout and I have so much more energy. I go to work feeling amazing when I workout before and I can definitely tell a difference when I skip my morning workout and sleep in. Now, have I taken more rest days than the program suggests? Yes. But, I still keep chugging along with the workouts. I'm halfway through half of the program and I can't wait to see my results at the end. 

I've been noticing physical changes in my body. Certain places look/feel tighter and more toned. The scale hasn't changed at all, in fact, it's gone up, but I still feel the best I've felt about myself in probably the last two years. So, I'll take that transformation over any physical ones. Another change is that working out doesn't feel like a chore anymore. It feels like a habit, just something I do. It feels like a part of my day and I feel like the old me. The person who used to workout (almost) every day and wouldn't think twice about not. I've missed that part of who I am and I'm glad she's back. I plan on keeping her around. 

Now, my next goal is to get my eating more in check. I pack healthy breakfast and lunches during work, but on the weekends/dinners (sometimes) aren't the healthiest or I eat more because I've been up longer. It's a work in progress, but I still feel the best I have in a while so I must be doing something right, right? 

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What have you done to make yourself feel good lately? 

It's Been a Minute...

Like, you know, almost a year. But it's fine. 

About a month ago, I joined Weight Watchers because I've been working out with friends after school 1-4 times a week since January, but I hadn't quite gotten the eating part down. I wasn't losing any weight and I needed something to hold me accountable. Quite a few of my friends had joined and I saw them getting results, so I pulled the trigger. 

I am so glad I did.

Joining WW has really made me think differently about food. It makes me think about healthy options vs just calories. It makes me think about feeding my body the proper nutrition it needs instead of just feeding it to feel less hungry. 

Now, I still enjoy myself every once in a while, but I truly enjoy following the guidelines and I am losing weight. So far, I have lost about 8 pounds, and I'm really proud of that. I feel so much better too. I'm more energized and ready to take on new things. I feel more confident.

But I'll be honest, this week hasn't been the best. Now, granted, it has been much better than the way I was eating before, but since joining WW, it has been the worst week eating wise. I feel a little guilty, but nothing like the guilt I used to feel. Today I've been on track and that's how I start every day after not being on track the day before. I want a lifestyle change, not a diet. I don't want to be restricted, I just want to live my life 80% healthy and 20% free to eat what I want. 

If you are struggling with finding a way to make a lifestyle change, I highly suggest joining Weight Watchers. This has been the happiest I've been while losing weight. It's the only thing that has worked for me, and believe me, I have tried a lot of different "lifestyle" changes. 

Starting Over

Sucks, doesn't it? It's a pain in the butt to start something once you have stopped doing it. So why do we stop? Excuses mostly. We get busy, we're tired, we don't want to, etc. The list goes on and on. I am one who definitely makes excuses when it comes to working out and eating healthy. I really can't tell you why other than I can be lazy when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. I'll get going on it, I'll feel so good, and then I fall off the wagon and can't bring myself to get back on. 

Maybe it's because I haven't learned to live life in a balanced way yet, hence the title of my blog. I used to feel so guilty about eating a treat, like I didn't deserve it or something or a treat didn't have room in a healthy lifestyle. But that's not true; I don't want to be restricted from the foods I love, but I also don't need to have them every day either. 

According to the scale, I have lost about 5 pounds since school got out. I've definitely noticed I'm not as hungry so I've been eating less. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I started working out together. Little by little I want to make healthier choices that I can sustain and live with long term. It's a process, and not an easy one, but it's something I'm slowly working on. 

I'm tired of excuses, of letting life get in the way, I'm tired of not being the happiest and healthiest person I can be. I also miss running. I felt so good about myself when I ran every day. But I think I overdid it and now my knee hurts whenever I run. I'm not sure if there's something I can do to help with that, or if I just have to be careful and not run every day. Any runners have any suggestions? :) 

Two Thousand Eighteen

I am really excited for this year! I honestly have no idea why, but I just have a gut feeling this year will be amazing. I just feel like my goals are going to be accomplished, and I'm ready to put in the work to make them happen! 

Now, I'm not the type of person to say "new year, new me." I don't want a "new" me; I just want a better version of the me I was before. There's just something about a fresh start that gets me excited. However, all my goals I want to accomplish, I've already started working on in 2017; I'm just continuing what I've already started in the new year. 

However, I fully believe life is what you make of it. Now, that doesn't mean life can't throw you curve balls, because it certainly can, but how you react to those can make all the difference. If you want something, go for it. If you want to change something, then change it. If you can't, then change how you react to something. Change your attitude. Basically, life is up to you and how you want to live it. What are you going to do to make 2018 better than last year? 

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I hope that whatever this year brings you is nothing but good things. I hope that whatever you go after, you get. I hope you get all the good things this life has to offer. 

One Little Word for 2018

I recently found out about the One Little Word Project. Words are powerful, and one little word can determine how your entire year goes. I have decided to pick one little word for myself for 2018. But before I tell you what my word is for the coming year, I need to reflect on 2017. 

Even though I didn't pick a word for 2017, as I look back and reflect on how the year went, I think the word that best describes my year would be change. I was so unhappy with my life. My job really affected everything else in my life; it was all consuming. I hated my job, hated myself because I thought I'd made a mistake with my career (I did not), and I hated who I had become. I wasn't motivated to workout and eat healthy and I was stressed all the time, which in turn made me hate my body. 

But then I made a change. I found a new job, I moved to a new town, and I have made a new life. I love my school, I love my job, and I'm happy. I am truly happy with my decision to move, and I am so thankful to the people in my life who have supported me along the way! 

This quote has been my motivation this year. I am a better person and teacher because of this quote. 

Now on to 2018.... The word I have chosen for the new year is discipline. Discipline in my job, at my house, with my fitness goals, and anywhere else it can apply. I am the queen of procrastination, yet I love the feeling of being productive and getting ahead. How does that even make sense? I couldn't tell you, to be honest. 

When looking up words, I came across this quote, and it really made me think about my life and about how I wanted this year to go. 

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I first thought about my fitness goals: getting a workout in because it needs to be done. I need to do it for my mental health. I need to do it for my physical health. And I need to do it for my goals.

Next, I thought about my work. I need to grade those papers so they don't pile up. I need to plan lessons ahead of time and get prepared. I need to keep finding ways to engage my students. And I need to take time to reflect and be better next time. 

Lastly, I thought about my home, and the daily/weekly chores that I need to be better at keeping up with. I need to vacuum and clean weekly. I need to do my laundry weekly. I need to make my bed daily.

Some days I may not want to do any or all of these things, but when it comes down to it, I need to do all of these things in order to live the way I truly want to. Discipline is something I have always struggled with, but I really want to make it a priority this year and master it. 

I can apply discipline to my life and do what needs to be done. [Only teachers will understand this ;) ]

If you choose a little word for 2018, comment down below what it is! I'd love to have people who will hold me accountable! 

I hope you have enjoyed the holidays with your loved ones! I know I have. 

Accountability Part 2

It's hard, right? Holding yourself accountable? Life is constantly changing, and staying on track for your goals is hard. I mean, especially when there's wine, pizza, and dessert readily available for consumption. #amiright #holidayseason

But in all seriousness, staying on track with living a healthy lifestyle is real hard. As they say, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Who is "they" anyway? 

My point: I've been trying. I've went to the gym at 5:45am twice this week (shout out to Jill and Dan for inviting me and keeping me accountable) and I went to Refit yesterday. Three days in a row I've exercised, and it's been a long time since I've been able to stay that. And I feel good. Like, really good. I'm proud of myself. 

This healthy living lifestyle has been a series of ups and downs. I can't seem to find a way to make it work long term, and maybe I never will, but I will keep trying. I'm already looking forward to my workout tomorrow, so that's something to push myself to work towards. 

My advice to you is the following: find someone who can hold you accountable and who you can also hold accountable. Work together and help each other, even if it's just a text inviting each other to the gym or making sure the other one goes if you're not on the same schedule. My friend Jill does that for me, and this week it's really motivated me and sparked a new motivation inside me. I'm grateful for that. 

My next move is to come up with a plan. A plan that I can live with, that works for my schedule, and that will help me stick with it. I've really been enjoying going to the gym early in the morning. It helps kick start my day and helps me start the day in a great mood! I'm loving it. And then after that I can just go home and be lazy for the rest of the night knowing I've already exercised for the day. 

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Up next: clean up my diet. But, that may have to wait for after the holidays ;) 

In It to Win It... Or Not

Teachers should get another week to recover from Thanksgiving Break. Four whole, beautiful days off and I am dragging this week. I feel so unmotivated, in everything. #helpme 

Grades are due this week, and if there's one thing I do not enjoy, it's grading. It's time consuming and redundant. It's important; gathering data drives instruction and helps close gaps in learning, but dang do I hate the process of gathering it! 

This week has just been meh. I feel meh, I feel like I look meh, and just meh. I wish I could stay in bed for a week and sleep through it all. I'm hoping to get my good mood back soon. My students definitely help. The sweet notes, the hugs, the smiles. They can heal a broken heart, that's for sure. 

Being a teacher is hard, really hard. Some days I want to scream, cry, and rip my hair out. I answer a million questions a day (not exaggerating), I try to teach kids to be kind to each other, and I also teach them how to solve two step story problems with equations and unknowns represented as a letter. Some days my head hurts so bad because of how many decisions I've made throughout the day that I just go home and sit on the couch and decompress. 

Being a teacher is even harder if your personal life isn't going well because you have to constantly be on point all day long, even if you want to burst into tears like I have this week. 

But, being a teacher is rewarding. Being someone your students love unconditionally is such a good feeling. Being adored is something I wouldn't trade for the world. 

Being a teacher is hard, but damn is it worth it in the end. 

Thanksgiving Break

Oh my goodness I am so thankful for my four day break starting the day after tomorrow. I. Am. A. Tired. Teacher. I'm ready for a break and so are my kids. 

However, I have loved hearing the stories my students have told me about where they are going for Thanksgiving and what family and friends they are seeing during the holiday. It makes me happy to know they will be loved and happy while they are gone from school. 

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I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. A time to be with my family and revel in all the things I have to be thankful for. And dang am I ready for a break from work. But, let's be real, I'll be grading over the weekend. #lifeofateacher 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Choosing to Be Thankful

Bad days happen. They happen to everyone; no one can escape bad days, no matter how much we'd like to. Today I had a bad day. I woke up in such a great mood, got to work extra early and got ready for the day, and still felt like I had time to breathe. I was excited to see my students, they were listening, things were going great. 

But as the day progressed, it seemed like things kept going wrong. Some students made bad choices, I hated my writing lesson, and then a student of mine got hurt at recess. At lunch I cried; I just needed to let it out. 

But, despite this Monday being the Mondayest Monday in a long time, I am choosing to be thankful. I got to see my dad today for the first time in about three weeks. He was passing through to our cabin for gun season this week and he took me out to lunch. I missed him, and it was nice to see him. 

I am thankful for my dad. I am thankful he listened to me about my day, I'm thankful for his hugs, and I am thankful for having such a supportive father in my life. I know not everyone has that and I am blessed I was a lucky one. It's been hard living on my own and being so far away from my family but today I am reminded they are always there for me, no matter what. 

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Today, I am choosing to be grateful and to think positively. 

Be Good to People

Seeing my students be good people and good friends to one another leaves me with such a good feeling. Two of my students at two separate times show examples of being a good friend to another student. They worked well together, and made the other person they were working with feel good. 

In my classroom, at the end of the day, we do something called student shout outs. I usually compliment the class or specific students for a job well done and then I allow my students to give shout outs to each other for something good they did. Many times, my students give shout outs to their friends for being good friends. But, I love when someone gives a shout out to someone they don't normally hang out with or work with. 

I love seeing my students make new friends. 

I had a conversation with a parent today about her student (he was one of the students who was being a good friend) and she said something to me that has resonated with me since, "As a parent, you just want your children to be good people. Hearing things like this makes me feel like I'm doing an okay job." That really stood out to me, because it's true. Being good to others is something we don't see a whole lot in the news and world today, but it's something that is important and should be taught and highlighted every since day. 

Taylor said it best. 

Be good to people. It feels wonderful. Random acts of kindness, positive notes to friends or parents, or just simply a meaningful compliment. You never know how your words or actions could turn someone's day around. 

Finding an Outlet

Being an adult is hard, am I right? I think back to my third grade self (the same age of students I currently teach) and I just think to myself, "Why in the heck did you want to grow up?" It's freaking hard. You use all the money you earn to pay bills, student loans, and to feed yourself. You have to clean your own house, do your own dishes, and finish your own laundry [there's no one to do it for you when you leave it out so long that she's sick of looking at it... Love you Mom ;)]. And then you just work. I feel like since I've graduated college, my life is less busy as far as how many different things I'm doing, but I feel like all I do is work. That could be because I'm a teacher and I take a lot of things home with me or stay after and come in early or it could just be another part of being an adult. 

There always seems like there is something that could be done. Something else to tweak in order to best fit my students' needs, something to clean in my house, or something to prepare for the next day. 

That brings me to my point: find an outlet. When stress comes, when you're feeling overwhelmed, or when you're lacking motivation or creativity. It's important to find something you love doing that takes you away from your daily responsibilities for a period of time. 

For me, it's planning in my planners (yes, plural) and working out. Although I'm not as consistent with working out as I used to be, I am working on it because I really do love it and it's important to me. I am trying to make more time for both of those things this school year. 

Whatever it is that you love to do, even if it's for ten minutes at night right before you go to sleep, do it. You will be less stressed, you'll be happier, and you'll feel refreshed which will in turn help you be better at work. 

Bottom line, you need to take care of yourself first. You are not helpful to others if you are burnt out, stressed, and worn thin. 

Easier said than done, I know. But try. Do it for yourself because you are worth it! 

Making a Plan & Sticking To It

Seems easy, right? In some cases, yes it is. It's easy to stick to my lesson plans I've created, unless I see a need of my students that isn't being addressed. It's easy for me to stick to my plans with my friends or boyfriend. 

However, I find it hard for me to stick to my fitness plans. I sit down and create this intense, well-thought out plan and I rarely ever stick to it. Why? It's not because I don't want to. It's not because I can't do it. It's more because I let life and excuses get in the way. Also, I'm an all or nothing kind of person, and I think that if I can't commit 100% to what I've set out to do, then it's not worth trying at all, which is not the case. 

Last week I planned to workout five times, but I only managed to get a workout in 3 times. Well, first of all, that's over 50% of my goal. Secondly, I listened to my body and when I was exhausted, I skipped the gym and graded my math tests that have been looming over my head. Thirdly, I started to get sick on Friday, and I'm glad I didn't push myself because I really didn't feel well this weekend. So, I'll take the 3 days I could get in, and try better this coming week. 

Bottom line, going SOMETHING to reach your goals is better than doing NOTHING. And, progress is progress no matter how small. Hopefully this week I'll be able to workout four times instead of 3, or up the intensity of my three workouts. Whatever it is I do to improve is good. I shouldn't feel like a failure for not achieving all my plans; as long as I'm trying my best, that's what should matter. 

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Keep your goals in mind, and try your very best to do SOMETHING to reach them every day. And if you don't, try harder the next day. But, don't ever give up. 

I Survived!

Parent teacher conferences, that is. Actually, it was a lot of fun; I really enjoyed meeting some more of my parents and talking with them about their children. I had a really good turn out and I am very pleased with it! 

Today was the latest I've ever stayed at school without an event going on (7pm!). I got a lot of grading done, put into the gradebook, and discussed some more ideas with my third grade team. I am on such a supportive team and in such a supportive school. I am so grateful for the change I made and the school I work in. I love going to work every single day. 

The people I am surrounded with inspire me. Hard working, loving, and determined people who make me want to be a better person, a better teacher, and a better colleague. I love the school environment Surline has given me; I love the family I have been blessed with. 

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Happy Monday! I hope it was a great one! 

Parent. Teacher. Conferences.

Also known as: The Longest Week Ever for a four day week. I have been prepping for the conferences today and yesterday and I am just ready for 8:00pm on Thursday night! Although I am looking forward to talking with my students' parents and discussing their children, I am not looking forward to two 12 hour days back to back. *Insert drooling, sleepy emoji 

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Pray for me, friends. I will need it just to survive and not turn into a zombie the next two days. Thankfully, we have Friday off! Woo, three day weekend! 

Accountability

Being accountable and being held accountable are two very important things when it comes to reaching one's goals. No matter the goal, if you're accountable and have someone there holding you accountable, you're more likely to stick to something. 

Last week, when I decided to take a new fitness class I've never heard of/didn't know I'd like, I made sure to tell my friend I'd be there because I knew I'd go if I made that promise. Today, when I decided I'd go on a bike ride, I made sure to tell my best friend, because I knew I'd go if I told someone. I went both times and I loved both workouts. I had so much fun at the Refit class (Zumba) that I'm going back tomorrow! My bike ride today was relaxing and calm and just what my soul needed. I felt like Snow White at one part because I was the only human around and I saw so many different animals. 

I am so glad I took that step and told somebody I would work out, because I did. Find yourself someone who will make sure you're accountable, because let's be honest, even if you're so determined to reach a goal, sometimes we still fall short. It ain't easy changing your ways, your habits, or achieving something you've never achieved before. It's hard as hell and sometimes we need a little extra push from those around us. There's no shame is asking for help. 

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Make up your mind, follow through, and keep going. Ask for help along the way. Stumble, fall, but always get back up. Life is a journey and it's never a choice to give up on the goals you want to accomplish. 

Work and Play

Adulting is hard, am I right? Yes, I am. Being a productive adult is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than any college coursework, harder than any break up I've had to get over, harder than letting go of the things I loved most. Why is that? 

It could be because it is a constant struggle. A daily struggle of getting up, going to work, being the best person, friend, and teacher I can. Every. Single. Day. It takes a lot of work. And most of the time, I let myself get consumed with my work, and I forget to relax and live my life. 

Being a teacher is time consuming. Planning, prepping, teaching, constantly answering questions, analyzing data, reteaching what you've already taught. The cycle is constantly evolving, and constantly repeating itself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love what I do, and I can't imagine doing anything else, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle to get everything done, or like it some days. 

My point is, find a balance between your work life and your real life. Work should not be your entire life. It should be part of it, part of you, but not entirely. Remember to relax, laugh, take a nap, and live your life with those who matter most. That's why weekends were created anyway. ;) 

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So, next time you're feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. You may need a break from your job. It's refreshing to step back and then come back recharged and better than before. I promise it will help! 

Choices

So, I'm about to go workout for the first time in over a month (aside from a 4 mile walk with my mom last week and a couple bike rides). And I'll be honest, I could have worked out the week I moved, or last week, and even this week. But, I didn't and you know why I didn't? I was lazy. Purely and utterly lazy. 

Sure, I started a new job and spent hours upon hours in my classroom. Sure, I was moving and walked up and down my stairs so many times. Sure, I was tired at the end of the day. But those are all excuses, and they are not helping me achieve my goals. 

Now, my goals aren't to have a six pack of abs and ripped legs. However, I do want to be healthier and live a better lifestyle than I did last school year. I don't eat out so much anymore (so far) and I haven't had pop in a few weeks. I'm making my meals and taking my lunches and that has helped. I don't snack (or should I say over-snack) as often as I did last year. I am busy, but I am trying my best to make better choices, while still living with a balance. 

It's a daily choice to be healthier. It's a CHOICE. Yeah, it's hard. It's really freaking hard. But, it's better than looking in the mirror and hating what you see and then giving up on yourself. That's even harder and it sucks a whole lot more. 

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I hope this inspires you to make a better choice today. I hope it helps you realize that we're all in this boat together, struggling to be better than we were yesterday. Sometimes we fail, but sometimes we succeed and little successes all combined together make a big success.